PICCOLO JOKES
PICCOLO JOKES
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PICCOLO LINKS
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ADDITIONAL PICCOLO WEBSITES



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PICCOLO MAKERS

Anton Braun
In den Obergärten 22
D-63329 Egelsbach
Tel: +49 (0) 6103-61217
Fax: +49 (0) 6103-4889024

BandNow Piccolos

Robert Bigio Flutes
1, Doveridge Gardens
London N13 5BJ England
Telephone 020 8882 2627
Fax 020 8882 2728
Email: Robert@bigio.com

Bulgheroni Como Piccolo

Burkart-Phelan Inc.
20 Main Street
Acton, MA 01720
PH (978) 263-7177
FAX (978) 263-8187

Emerson Musical Instruments, Inc.

Gemeinhardt Flute Co./Gemstone Musical Instruments

Hammig Piccolo Company
800.967.6733
800.373.2000
1214 5th Street
Coralville, IA 52241
Philipp Hammig & Aug. Hammig
Neue Str. 3-5
D-08258 Markneukirchen
Tel.: (+49-374) 22 25 00
Fax: (+49-374) 22 28 56

Hammig (August Richard)

Hammig (Bernhard)
Am Schiessrein 17
D - 77933 Lahr
Tel.: +49 7821 22802
Fax.: +49 7821 32487

Wm S. Haynes Co, Inc.
12 Piedmont Street
Boston, MA 02116
phone: 617-482-7456
Fax: 617-482-1870
email at WmSHaynes@msn.com

Jupiter Band Instruments Inc.
P.O. Box 90249
Austin, TX 78709-0249
phone: 512-288-7400

Keefe Piccolo Company
54 Church Street
Winchester, MA 01890
phone: 781-369-1626
fax: 781-369-1301

Ian McLauchlan
Just Flutes
46 South End
Croydon, Surrey, CR0 1DP
Telephone: +44 020 8662 8420
E-mail: imclauchlan@i-gadgets.com

Nagahara Flutes
Kanichi Nagahara
131 Stedman St. #7
Chelmsford, MA 01824 USA
Tel. 978-458-1345
Fax. 978-458-1349

George Opperman
219.289-2576
1117 Clover Street
South Bend, IN 46615

Roy Seaman Ltd. Piccolos
Gemeinhardt Flute Co./Gemstone Musical Instruments

Tanzer Headjoint Co.
Fine Wood Piccolo Headjoints
Stephen Tanzer
P.O. Box 720
Franklinville, NJ 08322
USA
(609) 728-7644

Sankyo Flutes

Verne Q. Powell Flutes
257 Crescent Street
Waltham, MA 02154
phone: 781-647-4111

Weisman-McKenna Piccolos

Yamaha Corporation of America
Flute Division
3445 East Paris Ave. SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49512-0889
phone: 616-940-4900
email: band@yamaha.com

Miles Zentner Piccolos
PICCOLO LINKS
Click HERE for piccolo jokes (put back on my website especially for Jim Keefe!)
Last Update: 2/18/2008
Q: How many piccolo players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None (they ask their boyfriend to do it for them).

Q: What is the defintion of "perfect pitch"?
A: Throwing a piccolo in the toilet without hitting the rim.

Q: How do you know when a piccolo player is at your door?
A: The doorbell shrieks!

Q: How is an Eb clarinet better than an piccolo?
A: The Eb clarinet burns longer.

Q: What's the difference between a piccolo and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline!

Q: How do you get a piccolo player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose!

Q: What do you get when you cross a piccolo and an Eb clarinet?
A: An earache.

Q: What's the difference between a piccolo and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up an onion!

Q: Why do piccoloists put their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do a piccolo and a law suit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

Q: If most musicians are either high or low, what does that make a piccoloist?
A: Confused.

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two piccoloists playing in unison.

Q: What's the difference between a piccoloist and a seamstress?
A: A seamstress tucks up the frills.

Q: What do you call a good piccolo section?
A: Impossible.

Q: What's the difference between a dead piccoloist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks infront of the skunk.

Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: Someone who knows how to play the piccolo and doesn't.

Q: Why were piccolos invented?
A: To give the whole orchestra a headache.

Q; What is the definition of a "nerd"?
A. Someone who owns their own D-flat piccolo.

Q. What is the difference between a piccolo and a dog whistle?
A; I don't know, but I feel sorry for dogs because they can hear both!

Q: What kind of calendar does a piccoloist use to keep track of his/her gigs?
A: Year-at-a-glance.

Q. How do you make a piccolo sound like an E-flat clarinet?
A. Slide up to all of the high notes.

Q. What is the range of a piccolo?
A. Should be at least 20 yards.

Q. What is the ideal weight for a piccoloist?
A: About 2 1/2 pounds including the urn.

The piccoloist calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor. ``I'm sorry, he's dead,'' comes the reply. The piccoloist calls back 25 times, always getting the same answer from the receptionist. At last she asks him why he keeps calling. The piccoloist replies, "I just like to hear you say it.''

Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."

"Live Long and Prosper"
After a passage was played abusively loud and shrill by the piccoloist, the conductor stops the orchestra and asks, "Can you please set that thing to 'stun'?" (- From a musician in Brazil who said the American conductor's analogy was lost on the Brazilian orchestra who apparently were not aware of the Star Trek origin of this statement.)


MISCELANEOUS MUSIC JOKES

Q: What do you call a musician without a significant other?
A: Homeless.

A man walks into a meat store looking for some brains for dinner. He looks at the selections:
Flute Brains $1/lb
Oboe Brains $5/lb
Tuba Brains $25/lb
Percussion Brains $100/lb
He asks the butcher why percussion brains are so expensive. The butcher replied, "Do you know how many percussionists you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"

St. Peter's still checking ID's. He asks a man, ``What did you do on Earth?''
The man says, ``I was a doctor.''
St. Peter says, ``Ok, go right through those pearly gates. Next! What did you do on Earth?''
``I was a school teacher.''
``Go right through those pearly gates. Next! And what did you do on Earth?''
``I was a musician.''
To this St. Peter instructs, ``Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen...''
Available at www.tanzermusic.com